Fertility problems are becoming more and more prevalent today than ever. It affected me and my wife for a short time while trying to have our oldest child Cheyenne. While speaking to my mother one day about my situation with my wife she told me her story and I thought I would pass it along to you.
To tell you that we had a difficult time having our own child would be so understated. Steve brought Chris to the marriage and I brought Mark and Matt, and when I saw what real dads do with their children I was sure that I wanted to have a child with him.
We tried for many months and then months turned to a year, then two. By then we were certain something was very wrong. A fertility specialist was recommended and the real gerbil wheel began to turn.
The first tests seemed almost too easy! It lulled us into a false hope that the “Fix” would be easy. When those tests were done they started on Steve. “Slow swimmers” they said and fertility drugs followed. They made us both moody and upset all the time.
The news came about the third month into the “mood test faze” as Steve called it. I was the problem! My fallopian tubes were blocked from a virus or some other infection and I would need surgery to reopen the passages. A surgery date was scheduled and my hopes soared that the child I wanted would soon be mine.
It was a 14 hour surgery under microscopes and I recovered slowly from the anesthetic and the surgery. It felt as if my mid-section was run over by a truck. I snuggled a pillow to my abdomen for days to keep from relaxing my stomach muscles that felt like they tore each time I coughed. I kept telling myself that the pain I was going through was worth it if it meant we would have the baby we dreamed about.
Three weeks after the surgery I was back to almost normal and was told that we needed to put Steve back on the hormones to increase his chances. And then we began again, but again we were unsuccessful for eight more months.
We thought that the surgery was not as successful as we first thought and went back to the surgeon for more tests to determine whether or not the tubes were open. A radio opaque dye was followed on the scanning equipment to verify that the tubes were clear and we were reassured that all would happen as we planned,, “Go home “ the doctor told us and “don’t give up”!
But the hormones (fertility drugs” were really making Steve into someone I didn’t recognize. He was sullen and cross most of the time and intimacy was a chore and never a pleasure. Eleven months into the treatments for Steve and we decided to stop. It would be better to let things happen naturally if they could and if they couldn’t then we would enjoy the children we had and be happy.
If there had been a holistic approach to this dilemma that would have been a real blessing, but there was nothing out there that we were aware of for our fertility problems.
Five years later, two small children became available for us to adopt and we did have the family that wanted. We did get our fairy tale ending but if we had other options that didn’t include drugs at the time we would have welcomed that treatment..
